YOU WANT TO GIVE UP? YES.

 

You are reading this because you think that giving up is an option. You are reading this because your relationship with your partner is on the rocks. You are reading this because you are looking for something that will convince yourself that it’s right to give up. You are reading this because you think the person you are with is the one you want, but things are just going so bad.
 

I am no expert here. I am just sharing based on my experience. So, let’s start now.

(To make it simple, I will use Gold as you, and Silver as your partner)

FIRST STAGE: R-E-A-SO-N-S

You think about giving up because you’ve got these reasons.

1. We are opposite.

2. I am not happy anymore; we just fight all the time.

3. Silver has changed, I don’t know Silver now. Silver is not the same person I loved before.

4.  I am not excited to see Silver.

We are opposite – Silver likes cats, Gold likes dogs. Silver likes books, Gold likes comics. Silver likes sweet music, Gold likes loud music. Silver loves Oriental food, Gold hates oriental food. Silver loves talking about how he/she feels, Gold hates it. Silver is family oriented, Gold hates going out with family. Silver loves adventure, Gold loves the safe side. What else is on your mind?

 And you just say, “The heck! We can’t be on the same boat! How can I stand being with him/her ?”

I am not happy anymore; we just fight all the time – You use to hang out and have fun more often before but now, all you do is fight. Even the smallest stuff makes you angry.  Before, you can wait Silver for 2 hours and still give a sweet smile, but now a 30-minute late makes you so angry and that ruins the day. You go with Silver and watch his/her favorite movies, but now you fight for the movie you’ll watch and end up watching two separate movies. I know the feeling. You fight all the time, and all you can do is get angry and tell yourself “Why do I even love Silver? Am I insane?”.

Silver has changed, I don’t know Silver now. Silver is not the same person I loved before – Yeah, you fought harder and more often now and all you see is the angry person in front of you. Not the sweet-adorable-loving person anymore. Your partner has changed, and you say to yourself that you didn’t change a bit and that’s all Silver’s fault.

I am not excited to see Silver  - Why should you be excited when all you will do is fight. Right? I understand you, been there! Then, you are now really convinced that you should give up.

SECOND STAGE: D-I-S-T-A-N-C-E

You will keep your distance because all Silver does is annoying. Which leads to the two of you fighting. So, there comes distance. You go out with your friends, and get a happy life. You’ll realize how much you missed. You’ll even see Silver as a hindrance to your happiness. You will go home late, and don’t let Silver know that you went out. Silver finds out. You will fight again. You will think that you just want to be happy. You think that you don’t want to fight and be burdened by all the fights anymore. You will give up.

THIRD STAGE: P-A-R-T-Y

You can now go out and don’t have to think about Silver. You will go and get a life. You are convinced that you just made the right choice. You are happy, and that’s really amazing!!! You do think of it now, don’t you?

FOURTH STAGE: A-L-O-N-E

Party stage lasts about two weeks to a month or more. On my experience, the maximum is 4 months. After party stage, you will be eating alone more often. You will be watching movies alone more often. You will be reading a book without someone you can tell the story more often. You will shop more often. You will get more sleep. You will meet new people. You are still convinced that you had valid reasons, which is sure I agree. You will get used to being alone, and then get used with the new people and new routine.

And, you still miss Silver.

FIFTH STAGE: R-E-A-L-I-Z-E

On this stage, only if you (want to) get on this stage, you will be thinking of the following:

1. Silver has annoying choices but you still love him/her.

2. Silver and you fought just because you should’ve talked about how you can fix the differences.

3. Silver changed because you too changed. You admit that you changed because you had the time to see and look back the picture without you (technically) into it. It takes two to tango.

4.You miss everything about Silver. You love Silver.

You will call your BFF and ask him/her if you are just thinking about it too much or you really did the right thing to do. Your BFF should be the type of person who won’t lie to you. If you have one, then you can get through this stage easily.

SIXTH STAGE: MOVE On-or-RECONCILE

If you resolved your thoughts with your BFF and you will move on, congrats and have an amazing new journey! There’s no use reading the next lines.  You can still read it if you happen to have a BFF who lies to you or over protects you. You’ll know it because you are still thinking ( and still reading this).

If you are convinced that you still love Silver (and if Silver just waits for you), you two will talk about everything. Learn from it. And, change what should be changed. You will set new dos and don’ts. You will spend time figuring out new hobbies to do together. You will watch movies you discovered both of you like, and still you will separately watch the movies you personally like, after watching you will talk about the small details. Two things might happen: Silver will be watching the movie also, or you two will just share some good thoughts about the movies gou watched. (But if Silver have some new Gold, that’s a whole new story).

_________________________________________

If you are just on the first stage, start talking to your Silver now. Do the talking honestly. Honesty won’t lead you to a wrong path.

If you are on first stage, and you want to go on the process, then do so.

If you’ve been going through the stages above, may you have a sound decision? Since I am no expert to this, I’ll only give you what I thought helped me get to the decision I had. BE HONEST TO WHAT YOU FEEL.LOOK BACK AND FIND THE REASON WHY YOU LOVE.  PRAY FOR IT. Lastly, if you can talk to your parents, do so. They’re the only people in this world who know you without a word from you.

“Honey, you cannot learn from my mistakes.You gonna have to go out there and make your own.You can get your heart broken, or,you can have the greatest love affair the world has ever known.But you'll not gonna know, unless you try.”

- Beth's Father, When in Rome

No two people are alike. You are born to be you, and someone out there is born to be himself. You will meet him/her, or maybe you have.  He/she is the only person in this world who will let you be you, and still love you. No buts. There's no easy that is worth keeping.

Blogging About the Books: The Happiness Project (Part 1)

Here's a perfect song for an oooey-goody-feely post! Enjoy. <3

The Happiness Project's The Secrets to Adulthood

Ehem! Ehem! Ehem! I know the title is a little bit off, 'cause when we say "ADULTHOOD", it's for people whose age (maybe) is on 30s and up. But, come to think of how it really will get out all the practicality of life and maybe you have to apply the re-reading to read and understand those secrets thoroughly. I've been enjoying reading this book. I'm a fan of self-help books, and that's what I really enjoy! 

I'm now on the second chapter, February is all about REMEMBER LOVE. As I read and meditate on the thoughts the second chapter tells, I am really feeling better and better! I'm looking forward to how this book will help me throughout the next 10 chapters creating a 12 chapter book. 

Anyway, here's a favorite quote from chapter two, "To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right." 

So, what do you think about the Secrets to Adulthood and about the song? Let me know. :)

Blogging About the Movies: The Six Rules of Life

How do you get a girl to like you? This was asked to Sam by Josh while they were fixing the groceries he bought for Josh and his mother. The answer was given not on that moment, and the answer was not exactly an the answer to the question or maybe a lot better answer.


“The six rules of life.
1. Don't like something just because you think other people will like it, because they won't. 
2. What you think is important isnt. What you think is unimportant is. 
3. Lean into it. 
4. Don't shit where you eat. 
5. Most doors are closed so if you want them to open you need a cool knock. 
6. Don't sleep with people who have more problems than you do.”
- Sam Harper
People Like Us

This song gave me a feeling of really missing my family. :(

Blogging About the Movies: Sacrifice Defined

"I don't want to preach today, instead I just wanna talk to you, about a word we don't hear much anymore. Sacrifice. It's not what I would call a modern word. People hear the word sacrifice, and they become afraid that something will be taken away from them or that they will have to give up something they couldn't live without. Sacrifice, to them, means loss in a world telling us we could have it all. But I believe true sacrifice is a victory. That's because it requires free will to give up something for someone you love, or something or someone you love more than yourself. I won't lie to you. It's a gamble. Sacrifice wont take away pain and loss, but it wins the battle against bitterness, the bitterness that dims the light on all of the true value in our lives."
-Reverend Stephens

Beautiful Creatures

Working on the Disconnections

Enjoy this song, everyone.  ❤ 

Read the articles below. I got the first one from the Facebook Page of my former professor. The second one is an excerpt from the online magazine. I recommend you young couples to follow and read the articles there. Really a big help. 

Loving people and using things, and not the other way round (using people and loving things) could very well be a major key to building a marriage or any type of relationships for that matter. Couples should bear in mind that the best things in life are NOT things, but relationships. Things are meant to be used for our convenience, but people are meant to be loved and nurtured. Our relationships in life, that we create and allowed to flourish, would ultimately prove to be the real source of our happiness and fulfillment, we were designed as social beings, after all. Even if these relationships have the potential to hurt us and fail us, they cannot be replaced by things and mere objects which cannot respond and relate to us. The best way to enjoy a marital relationship is for parties to give and take with balance, to mutually support each other and to intentionally meet each others needs and make each other really happy. Indeed, it is terrible to live with an unhappy partner. With these thoughts in mind, it would be obvious that in the couples hands lie the key to the quality and outcome of their marriage relationship. 

-Ed Loteria, Family Matters Most 

Of course, marriage requires sacrifice. And sometimes it will feel as if it takes and takes. However, when we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn from something we have to maintain and sacrifice for into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.
-Relevant Magazine

I am now 23, and my partner is turning 26. We've been thinking to put our relationship to the next level, seriously thinking and planning for it after being disconnected for three long months. Sometimes, we are thinking that getting there will be easy as long as we have each other. But, I come to think that it should be "it will be difficult but it's going to be okay as long as we're working out the hardships together". You bet it right, relationships will always be oh-so-sweet at the start, quite cocky-rocky in the middle, and when you pass through that... it'll be HEAVEN.

As of now, we enjoy doing things together: working on the things we missed, satisfying each other's needs, continuously discovering little things about each other, honesty, forgiving, working on the middle of our differences and supporting each other. We read and talk how we can do things together and make it all good and better everyday. I am not sure if all couples do this as preparation to getting to the next level of their relationships. We know, there'll be hardships and as long as we put Him in the middle of this relationship... We'll be fine. We'll be okay. :)

Chances

"...gusto ko lang ngaun maging worth ung pain... mo... ko... ng mga taong nsaktan natin.
and I want to start here."

Oh Mr. Josh Kelley

Well, I can't lie that I think from time to time

How you're doing

But don't hang up cause

What I really meant to say is

Everything's wrong, nothing's going right

Just know that I'm not hard to find.

So just say the word and I'll race to you tonight

And I'll be right there by your side...holding on.

Remember when

We were further than you'd ever been

And I think about it now and then;

It takes me to that place.

When I pretend

That I'm better than I've ever been

Well at least that's what I tell my friends

Cause I can't show my face

It's like a pain that never goes away, and it always starts today

I was gone for so long and I was sick! (Huuuuh!) It's my first day here in the office(though tomorrow's just another operation day), and just trying to write an amazingly-blessed-and-happy-me post. ^__^

You know guys, I'm not done yet with my fighting the pain. I have this TMJ dysfunction and it really disables me to go from here to there. I also didn't have enough energy to do my Sunday Mornings Collaboration (photo shoot) for two weeks now, and also my video shooter day on our church for two weeks also!!! Huuuuuuuh to the world naman. I feel pain all over my right jaw, and on the ugats on the temple part of my head. It's really disabling! I always have a hard time sleeping and when I wake up, it's double the pain! Pain over my throat after waking up. Hahaha! I'm bored staying at home and keeping my feet only inside the house because of this sickness BUT I'm thankful for having super-daming tulog. Hahaha! Ikaw ba naman ma-bed rest e, 'di ka ba matutulog na lang? :D

Start from here, and hit play button. :)

Its Your Love

Here's what this post is all about. The things I said above explain the why I was gone for so long. :D

Cause' it's you that I'm runnin to, Baby

It's you that I'm feeling for lately and

It's like a pain that never goes away

And it always starts today

We try to teach ourselves of what is wrong and what is right. What is happy and what is sad. What is safe and what is dangerous. What is important and what is insignificant. What is true and what is fake. Do you have this observation that when you want to feed your mind about something you want to convince yourself, you end up convinced? We also attach ourselves to people who will lead us on the path we want to take without looking back and enjoying everything about that whole new life. And you end up tricked and again reading the signs of the other side on the path you are taking?  It's because of our mind's ability to select what we only want, without effort of doing such. Our minds weakness: To get what our subconscious really believe in. 

We try to kill something because it's not appropriate. We try to bury something because it's something that has no good use. We try to forget because it's all pain. What's hard to kill, to bury, and to forget is something we really can't leave without. The something we felt all the connection--mind, body, and soul.

Indeed, I'm a hard learner. And it takes someone to get in with this craziness I have when I'm on a wanderer mode. It takes only someone who stays and never gets old waiting and hoping for things to change. He may be the same person whom you want to runaway from, but he's also the same person who made you understand the unexplained, the undefined, and the unacceptable.

This is not an against all odds story. It's a story of two people who tried hard after all the pain. We both know that people won't understand any explanation we might throw them, but there's only one thing that kept us both coming back and that's enough.

I used to hate someone, and still love him after all. People around us hated/hates to see us again "together", but it's a call we just can't ignore. We are planning to set things fine before we really get in there. The very supportive busy bees of my life have this 50-50 opinion about this matter. My Mama said that after all things are fixed again, she thinks we'll end up having our vows. My Papa have the same thought, but he wants me to play safe because he's afraid to see me suffer again especially this time, when they are all away from me.

We can't celebrate enough because the things around us crumbled, pained and needed to adjust. We ain't selfish now to do and have what we only want. We know time is important, but time is what makes all in perfect place. We consider now the people we love, and who loved us. Someone needs to forgive and be forgiven. Someone needs to grow up and grow old, not just grow old. Someone needs to suyo some people. Someone needs a haircut. Someone needs to get healthy. Someone needs a prayer. Someone needs mending. Someone needs US.

We can't fully understand some things. We just can't. What teaches us to accept His plans are going to happen? It's FAITH, giving back to Him the honor and thank Him for the Grace He kept on giving us. Also, it's when you feel safe when things are right, and happier when things crumble and you are willing to fix 'em. Even for the Nth time, just to make everything fall on their proper place. :)

"Dalawa lang naman papakinggan natin. Tugtog mo, at tugtog ko." 

Hangover over The Notebook!

HOME.

Noah: Would you stop thinkin' about what everyone wants? Stop thinkin' about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want?

Noah: Well, that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am bein' an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, ninety-nine % of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelin's. You have like a two second rebound rate, then you're back doin' the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Be Thankful Kiddo! :)

Just a recommended song here. Hit on play button! :)

Okay, how should I start? First, I want to apologize to my blog page for I haven't visited and wrote a post for I think more than a week. Second, I just want to prepare you guys for an overwhelming-oh-so-thankful-me post. And third, would you listen to the song(yea, that youtube stuff above) while reading? Thank you! :)

The past days made me feel like things are not what they seem to be, but I was wrong. Like this one time, when I thought it's the best pair of sun glasses for someone because it's his personal choice, then I found something really unusual for him, and he did like it. This other one time when I have to make bawi to someone because I really did a big mistake, and I have to do it big time, not knowing that a simple friendly smile and lambing was enough. Also this one time when I thought that this one person can't feel that I am real mad, and he mentioned he did realize it. This one time when I was really nervous that things are VEEEEEEERY shaky for the past days, and then I found myself in a place where things are right... I mean, not really right as correct, but right as what is beneficial for me.

I felt the wind on my skin and I was in a real beautiful place. I never thought things would be as good as they could be now. I never knew it would be better after the "shaky" days of this week. I was relieved knowing that people care. I'm happy realizing that things always work for the better. That nobody's perfect, and you should work on making people love the real you.

The real you laughing hard and annoyingly, the real you who don't like the taste of okra, the real you who want the Norah Jones-Michael Bubble-Ingrid Michaelson-Ellie Goulding-The Beattles-Franco type of music, the the real you who loves to write even if a few people really read it... Just be the real you and let it roll... They may remember you as someone who has this "wirdo" taste, at least you know what you want... 

***Taken from a fun photoshoot with Leeweng (my good friend), see the photos below. :)

GO DO WHAT YOU WANT. GO TO YOUR PURPOSE! EXPLORE THE WORLD! 
Given the chance to explore and see the world, it's a blessing for me to see what wonders can bring after you obey whole heartedly. I feel real joy and so energetic (woooh!) even if I should be getting real weak specially it's Friday (though it's not the last day of work day!). I always have 5-6 hours of not-so-deep sleep, and still I managed to go to work everyday, have a quality time with friends and my family after work, have my social media time before sleeping, get to catch up with my reading of the words of Him(I really try my best to get a daily dose of this, though I admit it's not a real priority. huuuh! bawi!), and have the time to think about how you can get better with all the blessings He is giving you.

I can't forget this time that I feel like I can't contain this overwhelming blessings that I am receiving. The good times, my family, work environment, the people, the good thoughts, the friends, the realizations, the kwentuhans with Tatay, my brother's birthday is fast approaching, my family who never fails to make me feel loved even if they are a thousand miles away from here, the ministry, the service, the fulfillment of having all these things even if I didn't really pray for all of them... I am very grateful! If you can just feel my heart now! hehe. ^_^

Be thankful about the good times. Be thankful about the bad times. Be thankful about the people. Be thankful about the hardships. Be thankful about almost everything, even if you think there's not a thing to be thankful for... You just have to open your eyes and see that it's a something worth more than you asked for! (cheers!)

Okay, the explanation for the song is it's just a super favorite artist, CHRIS AUGUST!!! What a sweet and cold voice! :)

PHOTOS OF LEEWENG HERE! :)

Hopes high!

He Is We - Everything You Do

Hit on the play button while reading my post. :)

 They say, being alone is completely going on a set up where things has to go independent. What makes a man stronger is when he has to go on adversity and not to find comfort from someone who used to give it to him...

One day, things go the way you never expected would happen. One day, you'll realize that it's happening and is really happening. One day, you'll see that it's even better to experience light after darkness. One day, your prayers will be answered. One day, you'll start walking on a path you have always wanted. One day, you'll see yourself getting okay.

Sometimes, it's hard being tough. But when people around you see a strength and inspiration on all that strength you are showing to them, you'll get back up and get going... Like every hard beginning, every ending is also hard... I mean harder... See how the two complements? It's always better to begin... It's always... :)

I've been always hopeful on the power of prayers. I always pray, and ask for more and more strength. The past days get a little bit harder. I found myself crying again. Crying because I am here. Trying to fit the puzzle pieces that I chose to leave behind.

I admit. It still hurts. It hurts a little more each day. But it's the kind of hurt I wanted to go on everyday. Why? 'Cause it's the hurt of living anew. You know, you were lost, and starting on a somewhere starting line.

Never lose hope. Keep your hopes high kiddo! There's always a light. Pray for it. Even if it's hard to believe that it's going to happen. It's where faith come rushing to you... Give in to it... It'll make you feel comfortable... It will... :)

The song: I'll sing it with the someone... The someone, you know... We'll know who... One day. :)

***I get this feeling that maybe I should get serious doing my kinder-ish drawings. Hehe.

Revelation to me :)

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Being different means being YOURSELF

 “He's a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”  

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Hush Sound - Molasses

Hit on play button! :)

WOULD YOU AGREE that it's our natural ability to accept or deny? Most of the people may find you weird when they see your choices, but that's just being YOU. Right? Be happy, because you have found your place on earth. Most of these people are still searching, and are going where the limelight is. Continue walking the path you enjoy, even if you see few people walking with you. I must say that these are the same people who would enjoy seeing you at the end of the way. They're not just the people who will come along the way and would leave you eventually.

I'm still inspired by The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I watched the movie out of the blue (really). Guess what? I enjoyed it and the reason why I'm reading the book now! ;)

Thanks to Google for this photo. :)

***The song is about this: "I'll be creating my Indie playlist at the end of this week! Weehee! I'm so excited"

Lullaby

Norah Jones - Travelin' On

You know what to do. Right? Hit on play button. :)

I'll be travelin' on, travelin' with you

Hey, I'm too weak it's too much to fight off

A past so strong 

But now, I don't think too much all the time
I'll just try to keep up
Hu ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Can't believe what's happenin' now
Hu ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe it's happenin' now
I'm takin' my time, takin' it all in

So call me when you get where you're goin'

Listen and feel every word and beat

The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

Just listen. Just listen and feel every word and beat. 

 "Look, I know you think that she was the one, but I don’t. You know, I think you’re just remembering the good stuff. The next time you look back, I really think you should look again." -Rachelle, 500 Days of Summer

I felt like it's a song about looking back. Looking back about how good it was, about how happy it was, about how crazy it was, about how hard it was, about how that hurt so bad... In the end, you'll realize that it's still a beautiful feeling, that you want to feel again.

Again, for the very last time to a very worthy person.

You'll try hard to understand something. But actually the reason is presented in front of you, you just ignore that it was, and have always been the reason for you to understand...

Summer and Tom

That's the thing about love. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we already knew and have the one we've always wanted. Not knowing that in the middle of this ordinary life, comes a very exciting part where we'll have to use the lessons we had from the part where we thought things are at its best.

Included in this post is a letter for a friend whom I promised to watch this movie with. 

Dearest J, Sorry for watching this movie without you. I'm very bored for the past weekend that I needed to watch something really cute to start my week right. 

We'll have unlimited dessert soon and I can still watch this movie (again) with you! I promise! Mwua! :)

And anyway, I'm in the midst of planning which cute love stories to watch. 

1. 500 Days of Summer

2. Music and Lyrics

3. Fifty-first Dates

Uhm? Any suggestion? ^_^

What's my favorite line here? "But you should know upfront, this is not a love story". Sooo adorable movie! <3

Since this post isn't really long, just want to share this song I found on Youtube. :)

Between The Trees - We Can Try

In-love with Norah Jones!

Oh Gawsh... I want a Norah Jones playlist!!! <3 <3 <3

Let Him wash your hearts

The Starting Line

If you've been my reader, you know what to do. Click on play, and listen to it while reading my post. :)

I've been enjoying talking to people these past few days. I'm reminded that it's the one (of the) real things I loved to do. To talk and let other people feel that I'm there to listen and be a friend.

After being someone whom "you" can talk to, I asked myself why I'm used to doing it comfortably. I realized that it's because my life was never easy. I've been through a lot. When I say a lot, then that's really A LOT! I practiced opening my mind to all the possibilities. I've been aggressive just to fight to what I believe is the right thing to happen. To the point that I  forget what "respect" means. But one thing I learned since the day 1 of recovery process, no matter how great our minds are, His plans will prevail. His plans will come to life.

Ever since I started to see what life means, I've always been willing to trust and risk my heart. I'm actually not the type that plans and does revenge (I've been there, done that, and I don't want to do it again), I let things go the way it impacts everything. Life is an experience of a big domino effect, and it's perfectly surprising when it happens in the end! I'm used to saying, "Okay lang yan. Hayaan mo na". I honestly do that. Why? Because I don't want other people suffer because my hands and mind planned to. I let Him do the planning and implementation. 

Many of us can't practice telling how we really feel, when in fact it's the best foundation in building good relationships. I was one of them, because I was afraid of losing the person who believes in me. But, as time passed by... It's only ourselves that we fool, and we must agree that He knows what we are thinking. That He can get us out of any situation, just by trusting Him fully. Because we fail to express, suffering comes. 

The solution I did was to cry. Cry out. Let the people who cares know that it's raining in your world. That your heart is weary. That you need a little comfort. Man can't comfort himself! Man can only convince himself that he is tired. Man can't do it all by his strength, man needs His strength. Man needs someone. He might choose you, the one who bullies you during your preschool days, some schoolmate, or a friend you use you know by name to comfort someone. Man is planted with natural ability to believe. The solution is connected to the truth that He never gets tired of pulling us up. He never does, He never did, and He won't do it. :)

Today... If your heart is weary, I ask you to cry. If you are thinking of too many things, I ask you to let go. If you can't move, I ask you to be still. Let Him move your life when you can't think of good things to make things better. Say a prayer. Get a sleep. Let your heart rest a little. I am very sure, that when you wake up... You'll have the strength to face everything... He will shower you with everything you need, only if you have decided to rest your heart, mind, and body to Him.

I still fail to do it, but when things get rough... I know now where to go. :)

Let me just tell you a story before ending this post. Early last year, I think that's April, I was crying the whole night. I was alone then. I was hurt then. Until I prayed hard, and asked Him to just hug me and let me rest because I was really tired crying and fighting the thoughts that what's happening are the things I don't want to happen. So, I prayed. I asked for strength. Until I woke up, and I knew very well that I had a real good and restful sleep. I know He did it. What's even surprising that morning was, I also knew very well that I slept on the other end of my bed, not on the (supposed-to-be) head part of it. But I woke up with a pillow on my head, and I'm on the (supposed-to-be) head part of my bed. (*u*)

If you experienced the same comfort, I'd like to know your story of it!

He is amazing! 

(Inspired after someone asked me to use my blog page in a different way. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.)

Monday morning ngiti

Everyone needs forgiveness, 
The kindness of a Saviour; 
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains, 
My God is Mighty to save, 
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation, 
He rose and conquered the grave, 
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me, 
All my fears and failures, 
Fill my life again.

I'm very excited to serve and join GH! :)

My heart

...is aching. And, I'm praying for healing.

HS days again?

Hahaha! Got my new hair cut! I feel like 5 years younger! Hehehe.

Goodbye brown and wavy hair! :)

The Art of Recovery

Hey guys, I want you to not just listen to this song while reading my post. I also want you to read the lyrics after reading my post so you can fully relate why I chose this song for this blog post! God bless everyone! :)

I was not so sure how it started. Phone call? Chat? I don't know. All I know now is there's one person in this world who can fully understand me. In just a matter of two weeks, I get to realize that my life is not the hardest story ever written. That what happened to me should be a learning experience. That there's no other way but to go up. Despite everything that happened in my life. Blue prays for me. Blue had been always there, waiting for things to change. Waiting for prayers to be answered.

Blue used to be a friend. A friend I get to meet occasionally. A friend who bullies me whenever this person can. And I saw Blue that way all through the days I've known this person. Until one day, out of my want to go out and have a friend to talk to, this person asked me to go out and maybe we can just talk about everything that I am going through.

I never saw Blue biased, because we are friends. Blue always tells me that things can get better. Better in a way that God planned. This person tells me that I should cry, but I should help myself to stop crying. I still cry, yes.That's part of the learning experience. Pain is all part of this life.

Pain is an experience with a gift of healing in the end. See that smile? It's the art of recovery. 

Blue is a real good friend. I am surprised about everything this person told me about this person's life. And it's plainly a surprise. I can't imagine a story like this person's do exist. Blue is a strong and good person. Our church Pastor said, that "strong" doesn't mean a big and strong body. Instead, it's all about strong and big faith. In this person, I saw a person of faith. Real faith.

Knowing Blue at this point in my life is a big reality check of the things I've been through. It made me realize that every person is unique, and it's not all about how you see them. It's all about how you know them. I must go and move. I must never stop praying. I must draw myself closer to the one who made everything. I must honor my parents. I must love my life, and do everything out of His purpose of my existence.

I'm happy that God bless me with real good people. Good people who never would leave, no matter what. Good family that never gives up. Good life full of short comings, yet fuller with strength.

I never dreamed of an easy life. I prayed for strength, and that's all I will pray everyday. 

Your little Ms. Photog-enthusiast!

Oh What A Day

Listen to this song while reading my post! :)

Hello guys! How's your day? Today, I planned to publish this post, and it's really a great feeling for me to have this portfolio. Though it's not as great as the famous famous over famous photographers out there, I still feel amazing seeing this.

These are some of the photos I took for almost 1 year now. Using my super sweet Bammy (baby cammy), I came up with this little collection. Enjoy the gallery!

Ms. Dancer

This is Darshel, the great sexy dancer! She's actually one of my favorite friends back in college. She used to be someone I can talk about anything, and everything about school stuff. I love her being so nice. We were classmates on our cross-enrolled subject to another campus of our dear Alma mater. Our friendship developed since then. She trusts me with anything about academic stuff, and it actually helped me gain good grades. :)

Beeyankee 

Here's Beeyankee! The ever famous chick/boyish kid of TIP! She's an achiever, fighter and a great dreamer. She's the first person (aside from my family) who believed in my talent since the day we went to Baguio! We used to be friends for four years, and I witnessed her change from a kid to a little woman. I know her very well, and I love her just by being herself. :)

XY is for Xybelle

Xybelle! This is Xybelle, this shoot reminds me of the first time I did a "strangers" photo shoot. I used to know her because she's an alumni during my college days, and I guess she did not know me at all until (I dunno how she gets to know me). We just arranged to do this shoot via FB chat, and there we go! We met, do the photo shoot and had a long good conversation. I loved the moment when the sun is almost setting down, and we discovered that we are quite similar with something. (Xy, you know what I'm talking about! ^_^) 

Cosplay Lovers

Cosplayers are amazing! I'm not a fan of anime, really. But when I get to work for the company I belong now, I was exposed to them. Since then, I get to familiarize myself with them! They are colorful, fun, and happy people! They are happy with just portraying the characters they want. They are the kid-at-heart people whom you can ask to sit over a pavement, corridor, or somewhere and have a completely amazing time talking about their stuff. I didn't intend to do a photo shoot like this, it's just because we needed to create a portfolio for one of our products. 

One thing I enjoy about my work is being flexible. I don't just sit inside the office and do my stuff in front of my laptop, I also get to meet different types of people and do my passion without me intending to really do it during work hours! Sooo amazing! :)

Ms. Personality

The super ganda and super funny Jem! She was introduced to me by my friend, Grace. She's my fan! Hehe. It's really overwhelming that someone appreciates the simple things you do. And I thank God for blessing me with people who wants to be a part of the talent He has given me. :)

Ms. Lee

The gorgeous Lee. Lee is my friend, through thick and thin. I celebrate my birthday on the 3rd day of the first month of the year, and she celebrate hers on the 4th day on the same month. How was that? We are the Capricorn ladies! I'm always a fan of her looks on my cam. She's got that powerful and soulful eyes. 

I love Lee-Weng. She is beautiful, kind, and cooks good food! :)

My Guys

This is Pareng Jay, Tian, and Popoy. Just another "laboy" photo shoot at Intramuros, UP, and Wildlife respectively. They are my very "bait" friends. Love them to bits! :)

This is Momii (I spell it that way because we use to cal her Mii for Romi, and now she's my Momii...) The ever sweet and maalaga. I want her hug. Really! Hug me again Mii! Love you and Miss you po!

Rocker!

The typical gig attendee. My Ate Nisa. :)

Madam S

My favorite. My bestfriend. My bebegel. My shoulder to cry on. My supporter. My counselor. The best person I want to talk, laugh, and do nothing with. :)

Kiddos!

The kiddos! It's a shot from a photo walk at some park around Quezon City with my good friend Kuya J. Kids do enjoy little things, how I wish everyone our age find enjoyment with little things. :)

The "laboy" kids of Intramuros walls. And yeah! They're really cool!

Colorful!

Birthday of a kid! :)

They call it "selfie" ^_^

A shot by Kuya J.

I've always dreamed of being best at any craft. And so, I'm getting back to working on it. Whatever God gives me, I'll use it to serve Him. :)